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A good friend died last week and I didn’t even go to his funeral. I just couldn’t bring myself to go and I feel badly about not just that. Primarily I feel bad because I didn’t make enough time for him when he was living.
We had been getting together every couple weeks and having lunch or coffee, and when we worked together we got together very often. We were friends more than colleagues. And then the holidays came around and I didn’t make time to see him. Too busy with other things. Life took over instead of plans. And then he had a heart attack and died before we could see each other again. And I feel awful. I couldn’t go to his funeral because I felt I would be two-faced; I make time to see him when he was dead and didn’t make time to see him when he was alive.

I miss my friend.